Big Sis Briefing: When the Work Doesn’t Feel Like You Anymore
The quiet crisis of misalignment and what to do when your job no longer fits the person you’re becoming.
There’s a version of career success that no one prepares you for.
You’ve got the job.
You’ve got the title.
The salary’s decent.
You’re trusted, maybe even liked?
You’ve built a reputation for being dependable, commercial, easy to work with.
From the outside, you’ve made it.
But from the inside? Something feels… off.
There’s a quiet discontent that follows you from meeting to meeting. You still show up, do the work, tick the boxes. But it feels a little robotic. Detached. Like you’re watching yourself perform a version of you that used to make sense but doesn’t quite fit anymore.
That feeling? That’s misalignment.
And it’s more common than we admit. Especially for women in corporate roles who’ve spent years playing by the rules, climbing the ladder, ticking off the “shoulds.”
Misalignment doesn’t mean your job is bad. It might still be fine. But it no longer feels like a reflection of who you are or what you value. It’s not wrong. It’s just outdated.
This is the part no one tells you about in law school. That you can work for years to “make it” and still arrive at a version of success that doesn’t feel like home.
Here’s what I want you to know if you’re in this space:
1. You’re not broken. You’re evolving.
When something no longer fits, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing. Outgrowing. Becoming more aware of what matters to you. That awareness can feel uncomfortable, especially when your life looks “good on paper”.
But discomfort is data. It’s asking you to pay attention.
2. Misalignment isn’t fixed by a pay rise or a new title.
You can’t keep stuffing your values in a drawer and hoping they stay quiet. That quiet discontent is your inner voice trying to get your attention. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. It just shows up as Sunday night dread, snappy reactions or that tired-all-the-time feeling you can’t shake.
3. You have more power than you think.
Not everyone can quit tomorrow. I get that. Mortgage. Kids. Visa even. Family pressure. We all live within our own realities. But even within those limits, you can make changes.
You can:
Start saying no to things that suck your soul
Build small habits that bring your values back into the frame
Volunteer for a project that aligns with your passions
Mentor someone who reminds you why you got into this work
Work with a coach or mentor to get clarity
Sometimes the shift doesn’t have to be dramatic. It just needs to be intentional.
4. Your job doesn’t have to be your entire identity.
You’re allowed to find meaning outside of your job. You’re allowed to pursue passion projects, volunteer, study something new, or just take time to reconnect with yourself. That doesn’t make you flaky. It makes you a whole human.
Your legal career can support your values without being the only place they live. That’s not failure. That’s strategy.
5. Privilege and dissatisfaction can coexist.
Yes, you are lucky in many ways. You have a job. A roof. A salary. That’s worth acknowledging. But privilege doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want better. Gratitude is not a gag order.
You can be thankful and still want more alignment.
You can honour your journey and still seek a new direction.
6. You’re allowed to change your mind.
The version of you who took this job did the best she could with what she knew. You don’t owe her your loyalty. You owe her your growth. Changing your mind isn’t failure. It’s evolution.
Here’s what I know:
You don’t have to burn everything down to feel more like you again.
But you do have to get honest. You do have to start listening to the signals.
You also have to believe that your values are worth honouring, even when they don’t fit the LinkedIn narrative of success.
So if the job doesn’t feel like you anymore, you’re not crazy.
You’re not ungrateful.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re just waking up.
And that, my friend, is where the real work begins.
If this hits home, send it to a colleague who’s been feeling a little flat lately. Or save it for the days you start to wonder if it’s just you. It’s not just you.
This is also your career big sis permission slip to explore what alignment looks like for you and to write a career story that actually feels like your own.
💖
